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Preparation for the Conference

As Relief Society General President Elaine L. Jack (president from 1990 to 1997) met with her counselors Aileen H. Clyde and Chieko Okazaki to plan the September 1995 general Relief Society meeting for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they likely had no idea this meeting would become one of the most impactful and memorable of the twentieth century, as well as one of the most influential general women’s conference meetings for years to come. . . .

As they prepared for the September 1995 general Relief Society meeting, this focus on the family became the obvious theme, but how exactly they would implement the theme was still unknown. President Jack remembers, “We really wanted to focus on the family, but . . . we had some concern about the meetings just being talking heads, one person speaking after another.” . . .

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Just a few days after Elder Hales suggested that President Jack and her counselors meet with the First Presidency, the invitation to do so was extended and accepted. President Jack declared, “We were thrilled to be able to discuss this with them.” Presidents Hinckley, Monson, Faust, Jack, Clyde, and Osazaki were able to counsel with each other regarding a variety of topics, primarily those relating to women and the family. In her journal entry from September 20, 1995, just three days before the conference, President Jack recorded, “We did attend the meeting in the East board room with the presidency. They were very warm and complimentary in greeting us.”

During the meeting, President Hinckley sought the counsel of the Relief Society General Presidency regarding the women of the church. Sister Clyde recalled that President Hinckley asked them many things, including “what we had learned and what we did in our leadership training.” Throughout the meeting, Sister Clyde explained, “We were all forthright. That was an opportunity.” President Jack reflected, “President Hinckley asked us how we felt the women were doing. How were they feeling about their family? What did they think about the curriculum for women? This was a wonderful opportunity for us to speak about the circumstances we had found. Each of us contributed from our own perspective. . . . Chieko [Okazaki] spoke about the many who are hurting and Aileen [Clyde] spoke about the women’s main concern being their families and the economic circumstance. . . . We felt very satisfied, and listened to, and warmly received by the First Presidency.”

After discussing the needs of the women of the Church, President Hinckley then spoke of the upcoming conference and discussed what he might say to them. President Jack recalled, “He said, ‘I would like to speak the young women, to the single women, and then I would like to say a few words to the mothers of young children. I want to speak to single parents, to their mothers, and I want to talk to the grandmothers and the great-grandmothers.’” President Jack continued in her journal, “He talked about a proclamation on families that had been worked on by the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve. He said, ‘I don’t know if there would be time to give this.’ We hastily assured him that there was plenty of time and that we would each give up time. . . . We told him how pleased we would be to have him read such a proclamation.” She then explained, “He really wanted to reach all of the women and it was an ideal time for all the women to be together.”

Sister Clyde confirmed the general sentiment shared by President Jack. Regarding this meeting with the First Presidency, she recalled that after talking for a while, President Hinckley explained, “The real reason I’ve talked with you for a long time is that I’m trying to decide. . . . We have written a proclamation on the family and it’s my responsibility to decide when to present it. And you’ve already invited me to speak at your meeting on Saturday.” He recognized that the meeting was taking place that weekend, and it was already Tuesday. According to Sister Clyde, he graciously continued, “I don’t want to overwhelm your meeting. We want to hear from you sisters and we want the sisters to hear from you. So, you’ve already asked me to speak and I’ve prepared remarks and they’ll take about eleven minutes. But this is a very important thing, [if] I were to announce this proclamation to the family. . . . I’m afraid it would overwhelm the meeting.’” Sister Clyde described what happened next: “Elaine and then Chieko, and then I spoke to that, and we said, ‘President Hinckley, this is obviously very important and our concern for the family is very important. And let’s let that concern overwhelm the meeting if that would be the case. But we can easily pare our talks so that you use the talk you’ve prepared but take the time you need if you choose to do this at our meeting to present your proclamation on the family.’” Sister Clyde then related, “We quickly acquiesced to the importance of it and especially we thanked him for his sensitivity because he clearly didn’t want to come in there and take over our meeting.”

After these assurances by the Relief Society General Presidency, President Hinckley explained the First Presidency and the Twelve’s purposes in creating the document: “I know the problems [single members of the church] bear are heavy, and we want to lighten their load.” President Jack remembers, “We didn’t know what the proclamation on the family was at that time. I mean, we could tell by the title, but we felt anything on the family that they were reaffirming would be a positive thing for us. I felt very positive that we had members of the Quorum of the Twelve that were receiving revelation and I felt perfectly comfortable with that.”[16] President Jack also explains that she had sat on many boards and participated in many meetings in which the topics of women and the family were discussed extensively. In this instance she was confident her voice as the Relief Society General President had been heard.

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In reflecting on the meeting, President Jack wrote, “Although the questions were primarily directed at me, I tried to be aware of having Chieko and Aileen speak on the subject, rather than my representation only. As usual, they were very articulate, and very discerning about the needs of the women.” Finally, Sister Clyde recalled, “Before we left the meeting President Hinckley said, ‘Thank you. You’ve helped to clarify my thinking. . . . I will make the presentation of the proclamation at your meeting.” Directly following this monumental meeting with the First Presidency, Cherry Silver records in her manuscript “The History of the Relief Society,” “The women, of course, were very pleased.”

Reflecting years later on how she felt during this meeting, President Jack recalled, “It was a warm and comfortable meeting. We felt very heard as a presidency. As we left the room that day, we spoke so positively about our experience. We were thrilled to have had that experience. Each member of the presidency was delighted with the outcome.”

Reflection and Further Guidance

Elder Dallin H. Oaks, who served as the chair of the Priesthood Executive Council and who was invited to attend the meeting as well, spoke with the Relief Society General Presidency following the meeting. Sister Clyde recalled, “When it was over we walked out. Elder Oaks had been with us. There’d been no one present except the First Presidency and the Presidency of [the] Relief Society and Elder Oaks. And when we went out he drew us over to a little vestibule and sat us down. And he said, ‘Do you understand that you have just been in an historic moment?’ And we said, ‘Well, yes. What do you mean?’ And he said, ‘I have never seen a prophet make a decision in a meeting like that, about something we have spent a year with. And we didn’t know how to advise him as to when.’” Sister Clyde then shared how Elder Oaks explained to the women that President Hinckley was wrestling to know exactly when to share the proclamation, whether in the priesthood session or during the Saturday or Sunday session of general conference. She concluded, “He was really wrestling with when to do it.” In her history of this presidency, Cherry Silver records that Elder Oaks vocally observed, “I think he made the decision to read that proclamation dependent on your response. I think he made it right there while you were visiting.”

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As they concluded the meeting, President Jack recalled that “Elder Oaks reiterated over again that he thought President Hinckley made the decision to use that [talk] right while [we] were in the room.” Regarding the entire meeting, and apparently speaking for the combined feelings of the presidency, she wrote in her journal, “We were overjoyed.” Reflecting on this experience later, President Jack explained, “I don’t know exactly why he chose to read the proclamation in the women’s meeting, but it did seem that we were all inspired to speak on the family, and this was the right place and time. Each of us, with some feedback from each other, came up with the topics of our talks independently. It seemed that his talk and the proclamation on the family went hand in hand with what we were already doing.”

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